hot shower gone missing

Imagine my delight yesterday morning; I awoke to my alarm at 6:30 as normal, dragged my reluctant self out of my warm cocoon of duvet and into the cold bathroom.  On arrival in the bathroom I was met with a shower that would not switch on.  It’s one of the electric type mounted to the wall so in my early morning barely awake consternation I hammered the on/off buttons repeatedly, to no avail.  Just the red flashing light to indicate a pressure fault.  Oh brilliant.  A brief wash with the aid of several boiled kettles later and I slung on the nearest clothes I could find; black jeans and a grey jersey top.  By this point I was late so grabbed my converse and a big scarf and jacket and ran out the door.  As I made my way to the tube I realised that I felt uncomfortable in my skin and began pondering if this was because I hadn’t paid any attention to what I was wearing or if my feelings were being influenced by the lack of a hot shower? 
This led me to wonder about how much my feelings are influenced by how well I’ve dressed myself of a morning.  I’ve read plenty of articles about ‘power dressing’ and ‘dress for the job you want’ but whilst gazing longingly at the designer suits and how easy they are to transform for evening drinks has always been an enjoyable pastime it’s never really been my style.  And I’ve not needed to wear a suit to work for over a decade.  I understand that how we dress, especially as women, provides a touchstone for society to treat us in certain ways, apply certain roles etc.  I’m not going to go into the details of how unfair for women this is, it’s part of first impressions for both genders.  What I’ve not really thought about before is how what I’m wearing makes me feel; how radically my mood for an entire day is influenced by my chosen attire and in turn how this affects my self-belief and confidence.  Could it also go as far as to affect how productive or effective I am with work that day?  
The more I thought about this the simpler it became: if I dress smartly and in black (which is a LOT of the time) then I feel pretty safe.  Like most women I know I have key wardrobe favourites and these are worn most of the time – I remember reading years ago that the average woman wears 20% of her wardrobe 80% of the time and I find that to be true.  Those statistics stayed with me, no matter how inaccurate they may have been I remember them, and as a result I have always made a conscious effort to not neglect the full range of my wardrobe.  
My thoughts progressed to thinking about the various outfits we immediately associate with certain groups of people.  How did we come to set ourselves such strict uniforms?  After years of school where I was required to wear thick blue tights, a stripy tie and a skirt which is best described as a long navy pleated lampshade I rebelled in my late teens and early 20’s and wore a lot of experimental clashing colours and styles, one day a hippie, one day preppy, but even these descriptions show how our choice of clothing identifies us with a certain group or ‘type’.  Like most young people I was searching out my style and brave enough to try unusual shapes and cuts, mix together clothes that my friends wouldn’t dare to!  So is it simply that as I’ve grown older I’ve become more careful, more aware of the judgements people make and where I want to fit into that?  I wouldn’t describe my personal style as cool but I like to be labelled as interesting.  It’s normally a word people use to politely describe something they don’t like personally but that’s fine with me.  I don’t want to dress exactly the same as everyone else.  Which leads me back round to why I felt so uncomfortable in my rushed decision yesterday but it doesn’t explain why my emotions are so closely linked to my clothes and style.  It’s so easy to blame the magazines and adverts, the fashion shows now streamed live as they happen, for adding pressure to look a certain way but I’d be interested to lean more about the connection, the psychology of an outfit choice affecting the emotions I experience in the day.
Now that I’m conscious of this adverse affect of dressing myself in the morning I shall have to pay more attention and try to ensure I’m feeling good – perhaps then I can start to make it through that ever growing to do list!
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1 Response to hot shower gone missing

  1. bluebrightly says:

    I’ve thought about this too. I think some of us are much more self-conscious than others. Maybe couple that with a finely tuned aesthetic sense, and clothes can take on a lot of meaning.


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